As of late, I realized a lot of things. I guess it could be due to the stress that I'm under.....but most of all i guess it could be due to the fact that I'm drunk rigt now. I recently was listening to the songs of my brothers old group, Khlaua, and I did some retrtospective thinking. I have a lot of grief with my past and the actions that I have taken after te passing of my father and brother. Certain things are out of our hands. And to anyone who is passing through a similar phase as I am passing through, Kudo's to self improvement. I please ask for forgiveness for my spelling due to the fact that i am under the influeces as of the moment, and due to the fact that I am a dumbass when I am free typing (ask memo about it...and visit his page...quetzalcoatl69...). Anywhooooooo.... Well to all those who feel the same distress that I do, life gets better....and remember....above all remember...that those that have gone loved us...and sacrificed alot for us. It would be a damn shame to prove them wrong after they have passed and cant defend their point of view about us. Even though we may think the worst about ourselves for not being there or doing all that we could, they had faith in us. So continuing on....head forward and piss to the wind with delight, for shit is abound to happend....but then again with them or with out them shit would happen. So always remember...don't regret the past...the could've, should've, would'ves will always be there....but you can't change the past....the future on the other hand...you can make it your own or cry yourself in wollowing pitty. So get up off your flat ass, stop feeling sorry for yourself and get your life going. THe job aint going well....it will...or you'll find one that will eventually....you feel all alone....someone will come along when you least expect it and be your life partner. Don't let down all the people who believed in you...and best of all don't prove right all the people who criticized you. Today I passed the whole day feeling sorry for what I had lost...and I noticed that I should be glad for what I have left. For you'll never manage to find the colors in grey....just see bleakness...and thats no way to live....Live to the day!!! Carpe Diem damnit!!! Cuz' it would be a shame to feel so lonely when we have so many people in our lives. Wether it be the doorman or your best friend, the way we interact with someone can change the outlook of their day. Of course they say its easier to destroy than to build...but I say Thats Bull!!!!!.....sometimes you can build someones day just buy being humane with them.....if we're human...why not be humane. After all, in the world full of shit and assholes all we have are the people we interact with. The starving boy in somalia that you'll never see won't care who the hell you are....but the person next to you which you've never even said hello to...thats a different story. This is odd writting for me....I'm normally a pesimist....but in the situations of life and the way we treat others...I'm always a full optimist. Speaking of writing....me and memo are writing a story...once we finish the book i guess we'll publish it ...or post it...whatever we're lucky enough to do. But I think we have a good thing going. It's a co-writing story...where he takes one angle of the story and me another. It's should be pretty good....so be waiting for it!!....As of the moment we're doing the 5th chapter....but it's taking a good angle and good plot twists to come.....so expect the notifications of it. I'd also like to take the moment to recomend his comic book.....which he and his friend hector are working on....whos a very cool artist....hecm.deviant...for any who are interested. Well I guess this is all I'll be saying today....to those who drink....go for it...but dont drive....they say that drunks speak the truth..as do children....so if you feel like rationalizing...go for it...get shit faced and think about it late....just try to remember what you thought...or else there is no point to it....I dont recomend drinking alone...it makes you look pathetic and lonely....so if your going to do it...do it with a close friend.....and dont drink and drive.....(im not going to say you might spill your drink....cuz its damn irresponsible! Remeber...If you crash you risk other peoples lives!!!!)...cuz you might regret thigs you didn't do. Well cheerios....and hail to all at deviant...keep up the good art! After all its not just a hobby...even thought some say it is...its part of us!